Dear Neighbors:
As you know, I am incapable of meeting men on my own. Online dating websites are the best option for me because my picture and my profile make a much better first impression than I do. My profile is quirky, fun, and most importantly -- honest. The benefit of such honesty is that I have already been screened and the men who choose my profile are doing so because we seem like a good match.
What I don't say (because it isn't true):
1. I've lost 50 pounds since the picture was taken
2. I love a good football game
3. I'm looking for a man who will take care of me and treat me like his little princess
4. I adore chihuahuas
5. I don't want my own children; I'll be happy to raise yours
6. Even though I'm an atheist, I'd be happy to find a religious man
7. It's fine with me if you live with your parents and/or make under $25k/year
Now the men who have had vasectomies and prefer skinny women who watch football will know that I'm probably not a good match. I would appreciate it if men would be just as truthful. Rather than telling me what you think I want to hear, I just want you to be honest about who you are and what you want. Otherwise, I get the wrong impression.
Men: this is how I see your online dating profile:
What you say: "I love long walks on the beach"
What I hear: "I have no idea what a date with a woman entails, but I've heard they like the beach"
What you say: "I want a woman I can take care of"
What I hear: "You're going to depend on me for everything. You'll have no income, no freedom and no friends"
What you say: "I'm happy with pizza and beer; I don't need expensive restaurants"
What I hear: "You'll never eat in a nice restaurant again"
What you say: "I hate it when women wear a lot of makeup"
What I hear: "You're a whore!!"
What you say: "I like women who work out"
What I hear: "No fat chicks"
Some men will avoid the sticky topics, such as profession or income, by checking the box Prefers Not To Say. It seems like a clever way to avoid the topic until you can put a positive spin on it--
"Migrant farm working is very rewarding"
"Money can't buy love"
"I don't know what I want to be when I grow up"
The point of the profile is for us to pre-screen each other and decide if it's worth the effort to meet. The point is not to turn it into a guessing game. I don't want to arrive at our meeting place and stand in confusion as I try to figure out how the six foot four guy with the sparkling green eyes and a successful career as an FBI agent suddenly became a five foot four mob enforcer. You might think that once I'm there, I'll have to save face by continuing the date. I think that if you lie to me, I know everything I need to know about you. Bye!
Uninterested In Long Walks On The Beach,
D
What if a man were to say, "Dirt Poor and Proud of It!"--would you go out with him then?
ReplyDeleteIf he was dirt poor and intended to stay that way -- NO. My income would mean that I would end up supporting him because I refuse to live in poverty. If it was temporary due to the recession, that wouldn't bother me. We can rebuild our savings accounts together. I don't expect a man to have a higher income, but it needs to be comparable to mine. It may sound bad, but I cannot abide a man who doesn't love me enough to want me to have the basics and to live in a safe neighborhood.
ReplyDelete