Recycling: Good For The Environment

Dear Neighbors:

Some of the best advice I've received on dating has come from Christine, my loyal BFF. One of her gems is that recycling is good for the environment. Wait, she didn't make that up? You must have thought she was talking about recycling your cans and bottles (always a good idea, BTW). No, she was talking about men.

Sometimes when you're in between relationships, it's fun to go back and date some guys you've dated before. Yes, you dumped him for a reason, but there were also reasons you liked him in the first place. Why not go back there and experience it again? After all, you know perfectly well when it's time to get off the ride.

Benefits of Recycling:

1. Your number doesn't increase.
Don't pretend as if you don't care about your number (that is, the number of people you've had sex with). Every time it goes up you wonder just how high it's eventually going to get. If you go back to people you've been with before, your number stays the same. See how that works? So what if you've been with fifty men at least once and half of those on a rental basis...your number doesn't increase.

2. You already know him.
You don't have to wonder if there's a spouse at home, kids who are with the babysitter, or a crack habit for which your wallet will be stolen on this date. When you recycle, you get to keep that crucial previous knowledge. This allows you to recycle the Halfway Decent Ones and avoid the Train Wreck Meets Hot Mess. If you're looking for someone to escort you to the holiday party season, go with The Good Guy. If you just want, well, you know, I suggest The Asshole. That's all he's good for.

3. You don't have to work the attachment steps again.
You've already been through the "will he call" and "should I have kept my clothes on?" so you don't have to go through that stress again. But you also don't get to go through the early relationship fun stuff, but recycling is a Plan B, okay?

4. Every time you revisit an old relationship, you get confirmation.
Ever wondered if it really was you? When you recycle, you get that healthy reminder that no, you're not too picky. There are some people who just don't belong together. As a bonus, you get to experience yet again all of those reasons you liked him to begin with. The Asshole may be The Asshole, but he sure is popular.

5. You never know.
People change. That's all I'm saying.

Now go and mingle. Again.

D