Dear Neighbors:
I am aware that I spend a great deal of time lamenting my singlehood while my parented, married and otherwise coupled friends try to reassure me of its benefits. As it turns out, I was paying attention. I offer you my list of reasons why sometimes, it doesn't suck to be single.
1. I am beholden to no one but myself.
Yes, here I go with the big words again. But seriously, I do not have any obligations to any other people. I have a close, caring family and wonderful friends, but I don't owe them my time, my company, or my help. I spend time with them, take care of them when they need me and take an interest in their lives because I want to. They also do those things for me -- all I can do is strive to give more than I receive. My time, that is. Not cash. The teacher thing, you know.
2. My budget only needs to cover one person -- me.
As many of you know, I'm planning to have at least one child regardless of whether or not Mr. Right puts in an appearance before my biological clock runs out and the alarm buzzes. Until that time, however, my salary need pay only for my own expenses. I may wear clothes out, but I don't outgrow them before they're even broken in. I don't have to worry about constantly restocking the pantry, paying for various activities and lessons, financing braces, or that last-minute $20 for the field trip I'd forgotten about. My one vehicle is the only one I need to worry about maintaining. I know which bills have been paid and which ones still need attention because I'm the only one paying them. I always know how much I have in the bank because there's no one else with access.
3. I can be selfish about food, and sometimes I have to.
I think about no one else when I'm shopping for groceries. I don't drink milk, so I don't buy it. I don't eat cereal, so I don't buy that either. I do, however, have Celiac Disease, which means that most of my shopping takes place at health food stores that carry gluten-free food. Someday, I may need to buy things like bread and Spaghetti-o's and crap like that. Until then, it's all about me. Oh, and if you're planning to visit and you're a coffee drinker, you're on your own. There's a Starbucks on every corner.
4. My time is my own.
I'm exhausted when I leave work. I spend all day on my feet teaching 5th graders and trying to police them while they're on their laptops. When I come home, I can take a long bath, watch a movie, or write a blog without being disturbed. I also talk to myself because there's no one else to talk to. We have great conversations ("we" being me, myself and I, of course).
5. My choices don't require consultation.
I'm a bit unusual for a woman. I have no fear of doing anything by myself, so I can decide to drive a hundred miles on the spur of the moment without making arrangements for anyone else. I can see movies because they interest me and not because I'm compromising with someone else. I love action movies and thrillers -- anything anti-chick flick. Still though, I don't have a hand to hold for those freaky movies (still want to see "127 Hours", but not by myself).
6. I can get sick.
And I often do. I rarely get sick with the common cold, the flu, or something that keeps me uncomfortable for a day or so. When I get sick -- I really get sick. I've had four blood transfusions, monthly iron infusions, and if I accidentally eat wheat, I can expect to need to stay near the bathroom for a couple of days. This sort of thing would not go over well if I needed to take care of children, make dinner, or care for a sick spouse. Then again, I don't have anyone to take care of me and I'm not comfortable asking for help.
7. Dating
Yes, dating sucks. Except when it doesn't. And when it doesn't, I get to meet new men and experience the fun beginning of relationships over and over again. You remember -- why the up is worth the down? I don't have to look at the same guy every day and wish I hadn't settled. I can be a cougar and date inappropriately younger men. And the sex...oh, the sex.
8. When the table for one isn't an actual table, there are advantages.
For example, back in my going-to-concerts days, it was much easier to get a single ticket than to try to find two good seats next to each other. When I fly, it's the same thing. I only need to worry about finding one seat and that gives me a much better chance of not being stuck in between two people or right in front of the restrooms. I still don't like going to restaurants alone, but maybe next time I'll bring my new IPad and see if it's any different with entertainment.
9. I can put myself first.
I know that when I have children, they will always have to come first. Their needs must supersede my own. When that happens, I'll probably go back to my natural hair color because I won't have time to spend three hours getting my hair colored and cut. I won't be able to sleep in until I feel like getting up or stay up into the wee hours writing because I don't need to get up for anyone. In the meantime, it's all about me. If I don't want to do something, I don't have to. I don't have to go to a party because it will make the spouse look good with his boss. I don't need to make three dozen cookies for the class party or take time off of work for a parent-teacher conference. If I would rather sit in my pajamas watching a movie instead of attending a tupperware/jewelry/candle party, I can do that.
10. Given enough time, effort and dedication, I can make you insanely jealous.
Apparently I already have, just through your own imaginations about what my singlehood is probably like. It isn't, but I'm going to let you think that it is.
I will offer this caveat to the marrieds -- you're not allowed to come back and shoot down my reasons for putting a positive spin on being single. You were the ones who insisted that I find some.
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