No, I Don't Want To Be Your Third Wheel

Dear Neighbors:

I've never been able to make any of my "coupled" friends understand why being a third wheel is awkward for me. And it's really awkward when you think it's because I don't want to hang out with you, because that means I have to explain this. Every single time I've tried to explain this before, I've screwed it up to the point of arguing. I'll try again.

Remember being a kid and having a best friend and then your best friend got a new best friend and starting hanging out with the other best friend more and more and the next thing you know you have no idea what they're talking about anymore and they're speaking in an annoying code that makes you wonder if it's code for it's time for you to leave them alone or what but they insist they still want you to hang out with them even though they're making you feel really awkward?

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. And it doesn't matter if we're BFF's or friends I see a few times a year. It's awkward. For me, anyway. So let me start by dipping my toes in the shallow end, okay? It really won't take me that long to get to the deep end if you just stop texting him/her while we're talking, okay?

D

PS: The euphemisms were intentional. I will not have another argument about this.