Be The Change

Dear Neighbors:

You've probably noticed that I changed a few things around here. If you've been reading since the beginning (or have gone through the archives), you've also noticed that my blog isn't entirely about being single anymore. You'll be relieved to know, however, that Christine, who insisted that I start blogging, is still my BFF.

With Christine, 7/4/10

I've evolved. Originally, the purpose of the blog was to sarcastically bridge the understanding gap between married and single people. I can't help but throw some humor in my writing, regardless of the subject matter. Better to be inappropriate than boring, in my opinion.  In the last year, I have accomplished that goal. I turned my views, my most popular blog entries and frustrations into a 320 page manuscript entitled Tales From My Singlehood. I'm still looking for an agent to represent me, but I refuse to give up. I have a message that's worth printing. Too many women are under the impression that not having found the right man is a sign of our inferiority. Instead, not having found the right man is a sign of...not having found the right man. When you know, you know. And when you don't, you move on. 

2007, with some new friends

That's not to say I'm finished writing about being single. Soon, I'm going to get back into the dating pool and take a nice, long swim. I'll keep you updated when that happens, and I'm going to need your feedback. As you know, my friendships with men have been much stronger and longer lasting than my romantic relationships. After a few sessions with a therapist, I've been able to explore my role in these relationships and I'm going to change my approach to men. No longer will I think that a man is out of my league or that I'm not good enough for someone. A handsome young man recently complimented me on my smile and my confidence. It occurred to me that if he saw me that way, I should see myself that way as well. So I'm going to. I'm finished being a wallflower and settling for men who think they're settling for me. I'm no longer going to hide my intelligence, my views or my body. No, I'm not going out naked, I'm working on wearing clothes that are more flattering and less hide-my-body. Like this expanded version of one of my profile pics.

I don't care that I have a gut.

I no longer look at pictures of myself and think about the things I should edit out or what I should have worn. Instead, I think about the fact that my dad was very self-conscious about having pictures taken and as a result, my family doesn't have many of him. I don't want my nieces, nephews and future children to wonder what I looked like. Pictures are a form of history and I want to be remembered first-hand, not through vague, biased descriptions by those who remember me or know someone who does.

Lately, I've been writing about issues that concern me as well as current events that make me think. 

You may be wondering what you can expect from me in the future. I think my subheading says it all, but let me explain where I'm coming from. 

I consider myself to be a secular humanist and a freethinker. That means I seek the truth based on reason, logic and evidence and I'm concerned about the future of humanity due to our differing views on ethics, morals, and how justice can be applied in a modern world. There isn't one right way to do anything. We all need feedback and support, regardless of who we are, what we believe, and whom we love. You can call me an atheist, but that term doesn't encompass all of who I am and what I want to accomplish in my life. My life can't be all about me -- it must include the positive impact I'd like to have on others. 

In the classroom in my Phillip hat.

I'm a teacher and an aspiring writer. These are the only two things I've truly wanted to do as a career. My love of teaching comes from a childhood that was marred by bullying and a lack of personal organization. As a teacher, I have vowed to help students find their own talents and to teach them how to be autonomous so that they don't have to depend on adults to tell them to do their homework or to study. It's not easy to learn and it takes so much practice. I learned the hard way. My students are comfortable telling me when other students are bullying them, and I've been able to counsel bullies so that they understand why their behavior is inappropriate and how they can avoid continuing to be a pain in another student's ass. I wasn't a very good teacher when I started, but I've found my own personal style and it works well for me. The "Phillip Hat" was inspired by the television show, "Survivor". Last season, there was a contestant (named Phillip, obviously) who made a strange hat out of a feather and insisted that that his grandfather spoke to him or some weird thing like that. In one of my classes, we would talk about the show and how he was such a kook. While they made mother's day cards, I made a Phillip Hat and wore it for the rest of the day. I also made hats for the rest of the 5th grade team (with help from my students). 

I love to write and I never knew that I was talented. I've been writing more and more and after completing a non-fiction book, I'm now working on a novel. I'm going to keep writing and keep trying to get published. My mom would like me to write a column for a newspaper, but I'm not sure how to make that happen without a journalism degree and solely on talent. If you have any ideas. please let me know.

I'm a grammar geek. My sister sometimes calls me The Guardian of the English Language because it distresses me to see how people piss all over it. From now on, I'll be offering grammar tips. If you have any grammar questions, I'd be happy to answer them. If I don't know the answer, I'll find it!

I love animals, but I can't have any in my apartment. Right now, I'm dogsitting and housesitting for a friend. It's my own little vacation. I have a tendency to feed the cats that swarm around my apartment building, and if I'm at a party and the host has animals, I'll probably spend more time when them than the people.

My birthday gift last year.

I love my family and enjoy spending time with my nieces and nephews.  It's an hour drive to get home to see my mom, but I try to do it as often as I can. See the mixer in the picture? I've used it quite a bit since my mom and sister gave it to me last year. It was one of the best gifts I've ever received. Even better was having Evan (left) and Derek (right) at my mom's to share my birthday with me.

I love to read and always have. My favorite book is The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. Because I have so many books, I've been downloading new purchases to my iPad in order to save space. 

I've developed a new interest in politics. My views are more towards the left than the right, but I vote based on the person and the issue and not with a particular party. Lately, I've been concerned about maintaining a woman's right over her own reproductive system and the fact that there still aren't enough jobs. I am furious that our lawmakers care more about winning a pissing contest than making improvements in this country. I would love to see every current member of Congress voted out of office in the next election. They're an embarrassment. I couldn't go into politics myself as I don't think it would be fair to subject my family to that kind of scrutiny, but I intend to become more involved in the process of creating laws and repealing those that are discriminatory or just ridiculous. I refuse to vote for anyone who signed the document I've linked below:

A Declaration of Ignorance 

I'm open minded, but I have little tolerance for people who spout opinions without evidence. Think of yourself as a term paper in progress. Your professor will fail you if you don't give examples and cite them properly; I'll write you off as a nut if you tell me that "President Obama is responsible for the national debt" and fail to mention his predecessor's significant contribution. Don't tell me that Clinton was a bad president because of his sex drive; his two terms were a success in so many other ways. There were jobs, the deficit was reduced, he signed a bill that required a 5 day wait on the purchase of handguns (long enough for a background check), and he made it easier to get student loans. I'm bummed that Hillary probably won't run again. 

Finally, I'm your neighbor. It doesn't matter if you live down the street or across the globe. Thanks to the internet, we're all neighbors now. Let's act like it. 

Heading out to play with the dogs,

D