Public Service Announcement

Dear Neighbors:

I would like to offer this Public Service Announcement on behalf of my BFF, Christine. 

Christine has expressed a concern with current trends in profile pictures. You know, these pictures that represent you on Facebook, Twitter, your e-mail and your chat programs. There's such thing as a good profile picture and a bad profile picture. There is also what we like to call the Epic Fail Profile Picture.

It's tragic when people are afraid to post a decent profile picture but aren't afraid to update their status to, "First bowel movement in a week -- yay for me!" Newsflash -- we have to look at this picture every time we make contact with you. So how about changing it to something that we can all live with? Here are some suggestions:

1. Your picture should show more than just your face. 

Don't hold back because you think you're too fat or too skinny or two flat-chested or too voluptuous. Just get yourself in there and be proud of it. As Christine says, "If you're going to share your innermost secrets, you can share an entire picture of your body right along with it."

2. Show yourself for real - no photo editing

I get it if something is in the picture that shouldn't be...or if The Girls were playing peek-a-boo and no one realized it until half a dozen pictures later. Go ahead, edit. But leave everything else alone. That sort of thing is for insecure celebrities. 

3. You're not, in fact, an animal.

So don't give me a profile picture of one. I want to see you, my friend. Not Fluffy, Tiger or Mr. Chomps. It makes me wonder what's going on with you that you don't want anyone to see you. Take a picture with your pet if you must. 

4. Stick with candid shots.

It looks strange to see your formal picture at your friend's wedding as your profile picture. It's so stiff and boring and so not you. Leave those to the photo albums. The best pictures are the ones taken by surprise. I have one of me from Christine's son's birthday party that's fantastic. She called my name, I turned around and she took my picture. Spontaneity makes for great pictures, folks.

5. Don't post bad pictures.

If the light was bad or you have a serious case of red-eye or it's just fuzzy...don't post it. Wait and take a new picture. No one really wants to see that. 

Epic Fail Profile Picture: The Bathroom Shot

Oh, this is the absolute worst. This is when a person wants (or needs) a picture right away and can't wait for someone else to take it. So it's taken in the bathroom mirror. This is a good approach if you need a picture right away. But if you need a picture right away, well, you might want to ask yourself a few questions. Why would I want to see your toilet while I'm trying to look at you? Do I really need to see your brand of shampoo and the amount of soap scum on the shower walls? And put the Preparation H back in the cabinet before you start the photo shoot. Better yet, wait until someone can take a picture of you. The bathroom picture must end. I implore all of my readers to say no to bathroom pictures!!

Shout out to the BFF,

D