Dear Neighbors:
I don't always appreciate new additions to the vernacular, but I have to admit that the term "asshat" has recently caught my fancy. Every time I hear it, I can't help but laugh. It might be due to the fact that it's a compound word in which the two halves just don't go together (it's not ass-shat, it's ass-hat). Whatever it is, I enjoy referring to people I can't stand as asshats. Particularly when I'm driving. Right now, a little red line is appearing under "asshat". Maybe in a few years there won't be such a line because it will be a commonly used term.
How about we give it a definition and a description?
Asshat: An individual so pompous and ridiculous that he or she might as well be wearing a hat made out of the body part uncommonly known as the Gluteus Maximus and more commonly referred to as an Ass.
Are You Dealing With An Asshat?
An Asshat is a person who walks around as if wearing the coolest hat ever. This hat is so fabulous that everyone must see it, experience it, know how much it cost and how rare, unique and special it is before giving it back to the owner, who will clean it off as if the touch of a mere mortal might render it worthless. The Asshat reassures those around him or her that it would be impossible for anyone else to pull off this particular hat.
In the meantime, no one sees the Trumpish qualities of the hat but the actual Asshat. Everyone else sees that this person is wearing a hat that is literally made out of an ass. They pretend to be impressed with the hat, but they all know that the only thing rare, unique or special about it is that it calls attention to the wearer much like a Lamborghini is a neon sign called "midlife crisis" or "I have to pay for companionship."
No one bothers to point out that the Asshat isn't impressing anyone. It would be a waste of time as this person is incapable of seeing the hat as anything but a sign of his or her importance to the community and the world in general. Sometimes even the entire galaxy.
The Asshat goes on much like the Emperor, unaware that in polite society, one doesn't display one's ass for all to see.
Hoping to be informed if I become an Asshat,
D
No comments:
Post a Comment